18 months

It has been eighteen long months since Lindy, Christopher, and Kamryn left this earthly realm, and life without them has proven to be even more challenging than I had anticipated. The reality of our new life has become clearer than ever, as we navigate each day with the void that their absence has left behind. It feels as though a part of me has died, and yet, life continues to march forward.

In the midst of this profound grief, I cling to one crucial anchor: hope. I firmly believe that God has a purpose and a plan for each and every one of us, and that plan is one of hope. Every day, I delve deep into my relationship with the Lord, seeking solace, strength, and a reason to keep going. I search for something, however small, to be thankful for amidst the pain.

This was never the path I had envisioned for my life, but here we are, navigating uncharted territories. Yet, amidst the shadows, I have developed an increased awareness of heaven. It feels as though I am so tantalizingly close to them, almost within reach, yet unable to touch. The longing to hold them once more is overwhelming, but I take comfort in the knowledge that they will never have to experience this deep pain of loss. For that, I am grateful.

I would have willingly given my own life without hesitation so they could live. Sacrificing myself would have been the easy choice. Today, though, I choose to be grateful that they will never have to endure this pain. I carry their memory in my heart, and I am determined to live a life that honors their legacy, embracing the hope that remains.

What astounds me, even in the midst of this sorrow, is the boundless love that our Heavenly Father has for them. It surpasses my own love for them, a love that I struggle to comprehend. I find comfort in knowing that they are enveloped in His infinite love, experiencing a depth of affection and peace that surpasses all understanding.

While the journey through this second year without them may be filled with moments of despair, I refuse to let go of hope. It is hope in Jesus that lifts me up, that carries me forward, and that reminds me of the promises that lie ahead. I trust that God's plan is greater than my own, and even in the midst of this pain, He will guide me toward a future filled with healing and purpose.

So today, I choose hope. I choose to honor their memory and live with gratitude for the time we had together. I choose to believe that the connection we share is unbroken, despite the physical separation. And I choose to trust in the depths of God's love, knowing that His plan for them far exceeds what I can fathom.

Though grief has cast its shadow upon my life, hope will be my guiding light. I will hold onto it fiercely, even when the darkness threatens to overwhelm. For in hope, I find strength, comfort, and the unwavering assurance that one day, in the presence of our Heavenly Father, we will be reunited.

In hope, I find the courage to face each new day, and in hope, I find the strength to carry on, knowing that love transcends even the boundaries of life and death.

I am so thankful for my husband and my family. I don’t take anything for granted and have a new perspective on how precious life is. Biblical mourning without hope leads to unbelief. To anyone who is mourning, hold on to Jesus and don’t lose hope. Be gentle with yourself, and on the hardest of days pray and fight to not stay down too long. #onedaycloser